Change

Malachi 3:6

I the LORD do not change.

James 1:17

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

I miss Rick horribly.  There I said it…but saying it doesn’t make me feel any better.  I’ve heard that it should…talking and admitting to how we feel is suppose to help us deal with things.  I don’t think that “grief” read that article.  We are coming up on the 7th month without Rick being in our every day…and it seems just as hard now as ever.   Lately it has been harder…because of some changes that are going on in our lives.

The first big thing isn’t a change but an anniversary.  Mine and Rick’s 34th wedding anniversary is coming up this Sunday July 18th.  This time last year we were headed to the Smoky Mountains for a four day stay at a friends cabin.  Rick hadn’t been feeling very well, but the Lord was so gracious to us.  During those 4 days, he didn’t have one seizure, got to drive his mustang everywhere we went (with the top down) and we were able to do several things that we had done on our honeymoon 33 years earlier.  It was wonderful.  But, as wonderful as it was…that was last year and this is now.  I will be celebrating this special day without the one who made it special.  How hard and sad.  I am learning more and more each day just how very hard it is grieving the loss of a spouse.  I am grateful for the memories…but miss so much the one I share those memories with.

Our son Jacob will be entering into the wonderful adventure of marriage on July 24th with a wonderful, sweet girl…Jenni.  This is a day that Rick and I prayed for together and one that Rick prayed diligently with Jacob about.  It will be a wonderful day…full of joy, laughter and love.  But will also be hard…Rick will not be there to share in the joy…not there to help with the ceremony.  A day with many emotions…another change in life.  But, a joyous one none the less.

One last change…for now.  Spencer Christian where we ministered for 3 1/2 years before Rick went to heaven has finally found the man they believe God has chosen to replace Rick.  The elders have been very patient in their search…not even beginning to look until several months after Rick’s passing.  George (our son-in-law) and Ben have done a tremendous job in stepping up, taking on more responsibility, preaching and loving the people.  The church has experienced growth during the past 8 months and I know it is because of several things….seed sown, love expressed, continuity in leadership and much prayer.  As wonderful and needful as it is to have someone step back into the roll of preaching…it is yet another change in my life.  God is so good to us.  I have prayed and asked during these months several things of God.  One was this…would He in His mercy and if it was within His will… please allow the man that comes to have known Rick.  It seems He has answered with a “yes”.  Doug does know Rick and had many conversations with him about the church…how good is our God.  And how very full of grace.

We each experience change.  Sometimes change may be welcomed by us…even excite us.  A new job, a new home, a move, a new beginning.  But, there are other times that change can be very frightening and cause anxiety.  I believe that is why God has given us these verses.  “I the LORD do not change.”  He does not change like shifting shadows. When I am in bed at night, alone in the house, I can see many shadows…moving…shadows of things that I don’t remember seeing when the lights were on.  It appears to me as if things are not what they were when the lights were on…my perception has changed.  And changed for one reason…I am now in the dark.  In reality, nothing has changed.  Everything is in the same place, nothing has moved.  The only thing that has changed is how I’m seeing my surroundings.

God is addressing this very issue.  When life gets dark…the shadows come and seem to shift our world.  When we experience this world and all that goes with it…sadness, grief, change, joy, uncertainty, hard days…the day may shift from one shadow to another…BUT, HE DOES NOT!  Everything may change around us…but the one thing that remains the same and will never, ever change is our LORD.  He remains…stable, firm, secure and in complete control of us and our world. He is still loving us, listening to us, answering us, forgiving us, helping us and saving us.  Oh, how wonderful…I can breathe again…sleep in peace and even smile when life is hard.  Because of this one magnificent, glorious, statement…

“I the LORD do not change” Thank you Lord for these six wonderful words.

Walking with Him through the changes…and sending,

Much love,

Debbie

This entry was written on July 16, 2010 at 12:19 am